Happy Bullshit Emporium

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

mummies? genus of the zombie family. the two are not taxonomically exclusive groups, educate yourself

kaiyeti

Also skeletons by that logic.

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

A lot of people make this mistake actually! ‘Skeleton’ can refer to any individual member of the family Zombie that has shed its fleshy exoskeleton. It’s just an unlife cycle stage, but because of its distinct appearance we refer to it by a separate common name (similar to how a 'blank panther’ is just a colour variant of leopards and jaguars, not a separate species).

salkryn

Generally speaking, undead are considered to be members of their original species for taxonomic purposes. After all, a human zombie or skeleton is still closer to a human than it is to a crocodile skeleton. Problems in classification arise when the undead in question is stitched together from multiple sources, with varying academic sources treating them as a new species, a hybrid similar to a mule or liger, or even a construct similar to a bone or flesh golem. There are merits to each of these views, but none of them fully account for the broad spectrum of necrodivergent abominations, and the construct view is inherently harmful, given that constructs are animated by mechanical, electrical, or magical impulses, whereas true undead are characterized by a non-living–possession of a living victim is generally not considered to be the true form of the undead in question–object (not simply corpses, incorporeal undead frequently inhabit buildings, furniture, weaponry, etc.) animated by the spirit of a once-living creature.

thessalian
one-time-i-dreamt

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one-time-i-dreamt

Remember when Jeff Bezos, who is worth 181 billion USD donated 690k to stopping Australian fires? Yeah, me too.

s-s-s-senp-p-p-pai

McKenzie Scott is literally proof that these fuckers can donate HUGE sums of money to EVERYTHING and still live a comfortable life…. But nooO someone HAS to justify the pitifully small donations the richest men on earth make every year for their tax write-off

nudityandnerdery

Just to tangent on this a little bit, do you want an illustration of what the pandemic did for the super-wealthy? MacKenzie Scott is donating literally billions of dollars, and, well….

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Yep. She’s given away billions, including $4 billion in the last few months of 2020 alone, and her net worth is still racing higher. Because, holy shit, the game is rigged in favor of the super-wealthy. It’s not just “You can donate billions and live a comfortable life,” it’s “You can donate billions and you‘ll still keep getting more pushed into your lap.”

salkryn

They could watch their wealth continue to shoot up while giving away billions to others, *without* exploiting/abusing workers, yet they still choose to go the abuse route…almost as if the cruelty were not only baked in, but a deliberate choice on their parts. It’s not enough to be impossibly wealthy, other people have to suffer for their wealth to mean anything to them.

Source: one-time-i-dreamt
thessalian
thenatsdorf

Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)

immaplatypus

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.  Not bad luck.  I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!

official-mugi

“See him face”

I sure fucking do see him face

just-things-i-enjoy

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Him face

luccorvus

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021

catsbeaversandducks

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021 (2)

Source: thenatsdorf
biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

Sometimes I forget that coconut crabs really are that fucking big

portableusbstick

y-you mean they’re not the size of coconuts???

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

no. they break coconuts with their claws

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

I assumed everyone knew:

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spookyadhdgoblin

You just keep reminding me why tf I am mortified by the fucking ocean

I love it

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

i share the sentiment but coconut crabs are LAND dwellers. you aren’t safe anywhere :) :) :) ♥ ♥ ♥

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

yes yes, these are the bitches who are Amelia Earhart, that’s old news

salkryn

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses “the bitches who are Amelia Earhart”


Gaud, are you implying Amelia Earhart is/was/became an amalgamation of coconut crabs? Because that’s an entirely new level of fear you have introduced us to.

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

the Black dragonfish is like if someone designed an anime character to appeal to extreme monsterfuckers

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

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anachronic-cobra

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

i wanted to say “you will be punished” but i think you might exist as my punishment

panicatthefandomboy

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When there’s only one cryopod

et103

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses​ 

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You’re not wrong. You didn’t have to say it but you’re not wrong.

salkryn

“You’re not wrong”

I vocally disagree. they are not incorrect, but they are most assuredly wrong, on many levels.